Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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