Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize