so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
