my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
