So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
