My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
