can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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