weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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