ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
