I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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