i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
