oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
