Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Who died my cat blue again?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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