she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
we should paint friendship bongs
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