no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize