Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
