Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
