Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
