That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
