it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
