I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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