You just made me feel so damn special
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
