I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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