Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
someone owes me an orgasm
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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