I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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