She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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