Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
