I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.