If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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