Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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