Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
