I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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