all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Bring me that man meat
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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