Dual....:-)
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
