Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
