Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
