I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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