were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
