you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
