Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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