I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
