I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize