covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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