walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Farmville is her only friend.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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