A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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