Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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