I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
this just has baby written all over it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
