It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
