Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
