Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
