I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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