I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
