Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
