His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
