I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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