I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
