I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think I died a long time ago.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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