If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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