What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
