If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
