fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
