Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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