Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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