Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
