I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
