yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
